… und das ist auch gut so!

One of my facebook friends who is from Australia wrote about her contribution to this is oz, which was a picture of her holding a sign that says ‘Queers Have More Fun … you’re just jealous’. She talks about the reactions she’s gotten, which range from ‘right on!’ to ‘I’m a straight and I have fun too. Can I make a ‘straights have more fun’-sign?’ (Hint: No) And then she goes on with a sort of ode to the queer community and I loved it and I want to say that to her, but I don’t know her that well and I’m comment-shy!

I think it’s important that the queer stories we tell are not just the suicide stories, the discrimination stories, the ones where your mum throws you out of the house/sends you to straight-camp/cries. Those are important, too, but if we don’t tell our fun-time stories as well, being queer will always be associated only with negative experiences, and being queer will always sound just a little sad. This is why I love pride as it is now in our part of the world. It’s mostly just one big fun-time. And I hear people complain that it’s lost it’s meaning, that it used to be about fighting for your life & rights, and now it’s just empty fun. And I can see that, compared to pride celebrations in Russia or Latvia, say, ours can seem pretty meaningless. But I don’t think fun is ever devoid of meaning, fun is a statement in itself. And I love that we have come so far in this country that we can have a pride that’s more fun than substance (though I do think there’s a lot of substance as well!) We have our rights, mostly. The police are there to protect us, not to beat us up. There are no extremist homophobe counterprotesters. It’s just fun. And community. And laughter. And extravagant displays of gender. And I’m not saying all is fine and dandy, there’s still a heapin helpin of homophobia running around as well as a good dose of heteronormativity, but I think pride is one way to counter that. It’s a perfect display of queer fun. And it is super fun, I’m telling you if I were straight I would be jealous of the queers on pride!

So I’m happy to be queer because queers have fun, and I’m also happy to be queer because it gave me a whole new perspective on stuff.  I think if you’re already outside the norm in one way, it’s easier to question everything else about what’s ‘normal’ and accepted, and I like questioning my own assumptions about gender, sex, life, happiness, you name it. Also being queer helps me understand privilege and discrimination better, makes me a better person. God knows I didn’t understand much before I became a gay. I’m not saying you can’t understand it if you haven’t experienced it, just that for me it was a lot easier to understand afterward. It’s easier to understand that racism isn’t just when people beat you up for being black or when people say mean things to your face, because I know heterosexism isn’t just when people beat you up for holding hands with your girlfriend.

I was originally going to write something else today, but it was a bit emo, so I didn’t. Here’s a song I really, earnestly love, and it’s by Mandy Moore. You can defriend me now, it’s all right.

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